


In Your Shadow

by Nelioe



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Angry Fíli, Boys Kissing, Comforting Fíli, FiKi December Challenge, Insecurity, Jealous Kíli, M/M, stage fright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-05 00:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5353271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelioe/pseuds/Nelioe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili is certain he has ruined everything with one foolish decision. The man he is crushing on hates him and his career can never recover from this. It can’t get any worse than this, can it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Your Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the FiKi December Challenge which I decided to tackle on level normal, means I will post three new things each week of December. Two times a week updates are reserved to my current story "The Fall" and this is number 3 of new content for this week. I hope you like it!

 

 

Kili waited, sitting hunched in a chair, head bowed and staring nervously at his intertwined fingers. His heart was beating so loud inside his chest it drowned the noise of the ticking clock. Every once in a while a shiver of dread run through his body, forcing him to close his eyes against the cruel voices whispering in his head about all sorts of scenarios bound to happen after his failure. Fili was right now in the conference room and trying to clean up the mess he’d made. It was completely his fault, though it would although stain Fili’s reputation if they weren’t able to convince their clients to get them a second bite at the cherry.

He didn’t know whose poor idea it had been to recommend him to Fili, the future CEO of the ad agency, to work on that new, immensely important project a powerful company had ordered. Fili always worked at the most lucrative businesses for the agency, since he was truly the best out there. Kili wasn’t so bad himself, at least most of his ideas had been received well by the clients and were produced in the end. Just that he’d never been the one to present them, it had always been one of his colleagues. For Kili might be pretty good at his job and was usually not easy to shut up, talking in front of an audience with the intent of selling his ideas to it was just something he couldn’t do. He would get nervous, feel like everyone was judging him and staring at him, – obviously, why was this such a big deal for him? – resulting in him messing up his concept and talking crap the whole time.

At university Kili had always tried to shove the speaking part to other members of his group, he would work and they would talk and if his mark wasn’t as great as the one of the rest of the group, because the brunet hadn’t spoken as much as the others he never complained. It was better than fucking up a whole presentation. He succeeded in written tests and so his degree turned out alright in the end. Good enough that Thorin’s agency employed him right after finishing university.

During his years in the agency he’d worked with Fili quite often, although not in the same manner as in the last weeks. As the CEO in training Fili had quite a lot to take care of and sometimes Kili or other employees were asked to help him with his projects, the blond had always the last say in what was presented to the clients, but was working with the other staff often enough for the brunet to develop a crush.

When he was asked to work at this important project with Fili he’d feared said crush was going to make things immensely awkward, but it didn’t happen, they got along well as they created an advertising blitz. Working with Fili was fun until his colleagues all congratulated Fili on his amazing ideas, not even noticing Kili’s presence. At first he’d ignored it, Fili was great in what he was doing after all, but when even the brunet’s parents started to be fascinated by Fili’s creativity, when Kili told them about _his_ work, he realised he’d been pushed into the blond’s shadow. And it hurt. It really hurt to have his work, a work he was really proud of, belittled just like that. It was the first time it dawned on him how his buck fever was spoiling his own future.

If he presented his work, people would acknowledge and appreciate him more. His mind was set then, he wanted to be a part of the presentation of his and Fili’s project. Kili knew everything about it, wrote a speech and learned it by heart to be prepared for the day they had worked towards for weeks.

Just when it came to it, more than one thing went wrong. The clients had arrived but Fili wasn’t there. Right before the beginning the blond called him, telling him he was stuck in a meeting and Kili should inform their clients they would have to come back to it another day. At first he truly wanted to follow Fili’s orders, he was his superior after all. But then he thought about the reputation of the company, how it would reflect on them if he had to send them away now, besides, he knew the project, he knew Fili’s part and his own by heart, he could manage this on his own. It was the chance he needed to prove himself worthy of the place he had at Fili’s side.

But once in the room he was faced with all the old troubles. Kili forgot his speech, got the slides mixed up and phrased the idea behind the campaign all wrong with his nervous stammering. In the end the clients left furiously. Thinking Thorin wasn’t taking their commission seriously and had placed an intern in front of them instead of an experienced employee.  Needless to say both, Fili and Thorin, were fuming when they heard what he’d done.

And now Fili was in this conference room, trying to clean up Kili’s mess. They wouldn’t be here, fearing for the good reputation of the agency, if it wasn’t for his stupid, hurt pride.

He flinched when the door to the conference room opened, getting up as soon as he spotted Fili walking out with an enraged expression. Kili swallowed. They weren’t getting a second chance, the brunet thought, nearly bending under a wave of nausea surging through him.

“What did they say?” He asked fearfully by the time Fili’s angry figure reached him, fists clenched and glaring at him in a way that made him wince internally.

“They give us another chance next week, Monday morning, to make right what you screwed up. I took all the blame for you, I hope you are happy now, this could cost the agency dearly,” Fili hissed and before Kili could apologise once more the blond was gone like a summer storm.

Kili didn’t know how he got through the remaining hours of his work day. He was sitting at his desk and couldn’t concentrate on anything. He wasn’t surprised Fili hadn’t asked him to come to his office and talk about the subtleties for the campaign, but was pretty sure the blond would never want to work with him every again. And what if he’d ruined the reputation of the agency for good? These clients were important and powerful enough to keep them from gaining access to the market every again. He couldn’t help but worry about it the whole time and in the end saw only one way to prevent it from coming that far. So before leaving work for the day and the approaching weekend he sent an email to Thorin, convinced it would be better for everyone that way.

At home he spent his time with sulking, ignored messages of friends on Facebook and Twitter and wallowed in his negative feelings, barely getting his head around how one day could be as fucked up as this one. The man he was crushing on hated him and he might have destroyed his own career, just because he was such a loser when it came to talking in front of an audience. It was truly pathetic.

It was half past eight when a knock at his door yanked him out of his foul mood. He wasn’t expecting anyone right now and never got unannounced visitors. So when he opened the door and Fili came rushing in without any greeting Kili was more than a little surprised. The blond shoved a piece of paper against his chest and he grabbed for it out of reflex before it could sail to the ground.

“What the fuck is this, Kili?” Fili started shouting. The brunet had never seen him this angry, not even after leaving the conference room.

It took all of his will power to look at the paper in his hand, his eyes only needed to look at the header to recognise what he was holding. It was the email he’d sent to Thorin before going home.

“You let me take the blame and then write to Thorin behind my back to backtrack from our project? What the hell is wrong with you? If you didn’t want to be a part of it you could’ve just said so instead of going in there and nearly ruining everything,” Fili ascribed to him, every word a knife to his chest.

But what could he say that wouldn’t sound as pathetic as the truth? Nothing… nothing at all.

“I thought it was better to drop out before I ruined your reputation further,” Kili replied ruefully, not meeting the other’s gaze.

“If you care so much about my reputation why did you even try to do this on your own after I told you not to?” Fili sounded like he was only one wrong sentence away from tearing his hair out in frustration.

The bitterness in his chest tried to choke him. He was so ashamed of his jealousy, especially turned towards a man Kili had fallen in love with. This was such a low move he was barely able to press the sounds past the lump in his throat.

“I just once wanted to shine instead of standing in your shadow,” he forced out between his clenched jaws. Tears of shame were burning behind his eyes.  

“What?” Fili voiced with shock. “You never stood in my shadow!”

“Yes, I did. My colleagues, my friends… even my parents… when I talked about my work they always complimented you for your creativity and success and I… no one cares about what I do. That I work hard and can come up with good stuff, too. And I get it, it’s because I never do the presentations to my work, so it isn’t surprising no one remembers me or connects me to anything. I just… I thought if I can prove myself with these clients someone would finally realise that I can do well, too. I knew my lines, I practised them so much and I thought it would be enough, but as soon as I stand in front of an audience the only thing I can do is fuck things up.” God… saying what usually stayed in his head out loud made him appear only more miserable.

Then he waited for Fili’s judgement. For him to understand that he had been working with a loser all those times. Who was employed in an industry that was in need of charismatic orators and had no use for idiots whose brains went on hiatus with buck fever.

“You can’t really believe that,” Fili gasped, but inhaled sharply at whatever he saw in Kili’s face when their eyes connected. “Oh my, God! You really do.”

Was there a hint of panic in Fili’s features? No… his mind had to play a trick on him.

“Kili, you are brilliant!” The blond took a step towards him. “It isn’t true that no one cares about what you do! I care about your work, because it’s amazing. I wouldn’t have asked Thorin to work with you on the project if I wouldn’t trust your abilities.”

He stared at Fili liked he’d been slapped. Fili had wanted to work with _him_?

“This project wouldn’t have turned out that amazing if it wasn’t for you. And our clients will realise this, too.”

Kili grimaced at the mention of those furious guys, looking at him like he was a walking joke.

“I don’t know,” he replied, breathing trembling in the cadence of his body.

“Please, I really want you to come back. I won’t go in there and act like everything is my idea when in truth we did it together. It’s just not right. Is there anything I can do for you to reconsider your decision?”

A pleading gaze was drilling into his heart while Kili had a hard time to get his head around that Fili wasn’t angry with him anymore. Was asking him to return to the project, to present the result as both of their work.  

“I don’t think coming back will make it magically easier for me to talk in front of an audience,” he tried to beat about the bush.

“We can work on that. You could try ignoring them. Just talk about it like when you talk to me. Just look at me while you speak.”

Just the thought of doing that made him blush. Fili would see. Fili would find out. Things would become awkward between them.

“You know, I like the way you look at me,” the blond was suddenly standing so close to him Kili’s breath hitched. His heart pounding so fast and loud in his chest he was surprised Fili couldn’t hear it. Instead he just smirked. “I think you are pretty cute, too.”

Before he was able to wonder if words had left his lips he’d tried to lock away inside his heart Fili leaned forward and pressed their lips together. His lids fluttered shut as he hesitantly began to return the kiss. This seemed almost too good to be true. Kili pinched himself in an attempt to find out if he was dreaming. It hurt and they were still kissing. No dream then and the brunet melted in the arms wrapping around his frame.

He could’ve stood here forever, kissing Fili and savouring the warmth the blond radiated. It felt more perfect than he’d ever imagined, but eventually Fili broke the kiss, not the embrace though. Brushing their noses together a content little hum escaped the blond’s throat.

“I wanted to do this for weeks,” Fili whispered against his lips.

“Why didn’t you?” Kili dared to ask.

“I thought if I started and you were okay with it I wouldn’t be able to stop anytime soon and we had to stick to a deadline after all.”

Fili kissed him tenderly, not giving him the time to react before it had already ended again, but the soft and loving gesture filled his whole being with affection for the other man.

“What do you say, Kili. Will you reconsider your decision?”

He wasn’t sure if he made the right choice with it, but he nodded. Remembering what Fili had suggested. Kili would only look at the blond, would block everything else out and hope to prevent the same disaster from happening yet again.

And when next week on Monday they presented the campaign once more to their clients they nailed it right from the start. 

 

 


End file.
